Sciatica -- a Coastal Town In Sicily or Second Baseman For the Yankees
Posted: Thursday, April 23, 2009
by John Brazell
Three or four weeks ago, I came down with a case of Sciatica.
You may know what that's all about but at the time I wasn't entirely sure. Since it sounded sort of Italian, I wondered if I'd eaten too much linguini. The long suffering little woman, still limping from her foot surgery thought it was sympathy pains though she was too nice to say so.
After a few hours of more definitive symptoms -- pain and numbness randomly burrowing down my backside looking for the next juiciest part -- I sought my chief source of live medical care, a local Physician Assistant Extraordinaire.
She is an accessible medical genius who keeps ill-informed geezers like me from doing things such as, but not limited to, taking Metamucil and sleeping pills at the same time. She confirmed that indeed I had irritated the longest nerve in my body, the sciatic.
Should you be the only person other than moi that doesn't know -- the sciatic nerve runs from your spinal cord across your hinder most part and down the back of both legs to your feet. I suppose the taller you are the more you hurt though no one told me that. The nerve appears the diameter of a garden hose - I'm guessing here - in order to absorb all the sit-down shock from, ah, some people.
Here's an unwanted picture -- most of your nerve may be in your hips and thighs. Remember that when someone says "you've got a lot of nerve."
I should pause and say that sciatica is actually a symptom of a problem, usually a pinched or compressed nerve that might occur for several reasons, some more serious than others. Suddenly picking up a seventy-five pound granddaughter to watch the new ice cream maker mix strawberries, cream and milk is one of them.
As odd and torturous as it may seem, the first step in getting relief is to stretch your muscles in the effected areas. The second is to stretch your muscles some more -- and the third is to learn stretching exercises to strengthen your core. To administer this physical and emotional abuse I chose a strapping, knowledgeable Physical Therapist, Robert.
Robert is patient, attentive to details and obviously a practitioner of not only the physical but the psychological. During an early therapy session he found a knot - assume muscle - in my calf that had been particularly bothersome. He stepped aside for a therapeutic "tool" and retrieved something resembling a metal rolling pin and proceeded to "iron out" the nickel-sized lump in my calf. I have now experienced childbirth level pain.
Anything we've done since that time has been a piece of cake.
To the extent that I can I do exactly what Robert tells me because it seems to be working. Given the fact he is entirely capable of picking me up and using me as a dumbbell has nothing to do with it, nor does his promise that if I do all the stretching and improve my posture I will be 6' 3'' a stretch of six inches.
Remember . . . should someone step up and call you "a pain in the arse" tell em you're really an inflamed nerve. Now sit up straight, strengthen those core muscles and stop eating pasta, you know, just in case.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Oh my gosh John, I laughed out loud way back in paragraph two and had more periodic outbursts and giggles through out this read. Okay, I just burst out again. God knows I'm thankful to live alone! You have an outrageous sense of humor and superb (written) storytelling skills. I am not sure I could take you in person. Okay, that wasn't an insult. Said more correctly, others including you, probably couldn't take me in person when you're around. I laugh heartily!
Years ago, I had a co-worker that I'd see quarterly at district meetings. The company bunked us up and she and I always shared a room. She had sciatica. I learned more than I ever knew about it from her.
Sorry for your malady but happy you've found a proper diagnosis and treatment! All my best to you and thanks a TON for the laughs!
Get well soon!
PS If by the way you do make Millionaire, do NOT call THAT friend!Avis, thank you so much for the nice compliments. Well, humor is where you find it, right? I've heard from so many who've had/have sciatica and it's a major nuisance but an interesting name nonetheless. I just wonder who sits around and thinks up these medical and medicine terms. Can you imagine asking someone to please come rub your sciatica? And how about chickenpox? haha. Should you watch Boston Legal, a fellow has an unfortunate disease called Asperger's disease. Now it's bad enough to have it but who can keep a straight face? You've got what?Anyway you're a delight and it's always great to hear from you.Keep smiling and my best to you.John
Love your sense of humor. It is a great help in time of pain. Hope you get better soon. Thanks for sharing.Linda, and I obviously love your sense of humor too. I am doing much better, thank you very much, though I haven't noted any change in height as a result of the stretching. Unfortunately I've found a lot of folks have (or had) the darn stuff and probably don't think there's anything funny about it. But try asking someone to rub your sciatica and I'll bet there's a grin, at least a little.Keep writing and keep smiling,Best to you,John
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