Are Women Born This Way?
Posted: Tuesday, June 30, 2009
by John Brazell
This is all about tongue bashing, er, lashing, but first a message and disclaimer from your sponsor. That would be me.
Sometimes a semi-rational being goes loony tunes for no apparent reason (witness any male politician). It's unmercifully hot and dry here, maybe that's it. Add a short video that's so compelling, "cute" and touches the height of contention between the sexes, I couldn't leave it alone. That's it, that's what happened.
Here's the video. The caption gets to the heart of the matter and our discussion.
Sitting in a car-seat a baby girl jabbers and gesticulates at the speed of gossip at a bridge-party. To witness this twenty-pound bundle of hormones, and you should as she's a "10" on a cute scale, Click here: Are women born this way? - Snotr
So happens I have a history of womanizing (not in the Clintonian sense) and should know a thing or two about the gentler but faster-a-tongue sex. And there's lots of anecdotal evidence that supports the allegation that females are more chatterfied. About fifty percent of the population strongly believes it. Sadly, I am one.
I have three aunts, two sisters, two daughters and four granddaughters. The only trace of testosterone, aside from Pop and moi, was in our alpha dogs. Actually I'm not sure dogs have testosterone, but I know cats do. Anything that sits on a post at midnight and celebrates that much has to have some . . . and I've wandered afar.
In my formative years I was awash in Estee Lauder, estrogen and PMS (Pass me
Unwittingly I carried on the tradition and married into a family of mostly females who turned family gatherings into competitive filibusters. At the dinner table a less verbal, less estrogenic bystander took a number to ask for a second helping of mashed potatoes and hoped some was left. In time I learned to lean across the table and get my own.
It's clear that women of all ages move in flocks, at least twosies, so as not to experience excruciating seconds of silence. Just this morning as I walked in the park, I saw only one woman walking alone and she was trying to cure that. She stood frantically punching buttons on her cell like fire-ants on soft flesh trying to get someone, anyone to answer. Between anxiety gasps she asked if I could hold the leash on her dog and listen to her.
Here's a last revelation: should you wonder why women go in pairs to "powder their nose" well, women no longer powder their nose.
To bring this sociological miniseries to a conclusion, I found a scientific study source anonymous for security reasons which confirmed women talk more than men.
Aha, I thought to myself this is valuable. I sought out the little woman to prove once and for all that I was right. "I've just read that men speak 10,000 words each day and women 20,000" and hurried out of the room.
Shortly thereafter she found me and said, "It's because women have to repeat everything they say."
I said, "What?"
: )
Post post: To the softer, gentler and chattier gender out there and especially "All the Girls I've Loved Before" this was "Tongue in Cheek." I enjoy your company waaay better than your less genteel counterparts. Talk all you want, the package wouldn't feel right without it.
"Nothing is so unnatural as a talkative man or a quiet woman" Scottish Proverb
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Hi John.This was a hoot! Loved it. Made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the yucks and the link to the video. Great job!DianneP.S. I had to come back and add this after telling my husband about your article. He says that it is because men are more able to fiercely concentrate on something that they don't always hear what is said to them, thereby forcing women to repeat everything. Personally, I'm not buying it for a minute. :) DSLHi Dianne,Glad you enjoyed the fun. The good lord knew boys and girls would get awfully bored with each other if we were alike, now wouldn't we? And what would we talk about? Thanks for taking the time to respond. You've made my day!Keep your sense of humor, it's always becoming.John
John, I received this in an email and wish I had your article accompanying it. What a hoot you are! All disclaimers accepted. Thank you!Morning Avis,Thanks for the nice note. Actually I expected to be shot by a feminist by now. I'm on a roll! Obviously it's all in fun. No one appreciates the "softer side" more than moi. I love your great sense of humor.Happy writing and have a wonderful day.John
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